


Out of Sorrow

by AnnaOnTheMoon



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jack Crusher's Death, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaOnTheMoon/pseuds/AnnaOnTheMoon
Summary: Beverly is heartbroken after the loss of her husband, but finds renewed happiness with her best friend.





	Out of Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: discussion of miscarriage.

Jean-Luc Picard stood outside his best friend’s door.  He always loved visiting Beverly Crusher, but he hated the circumstances which currently brought him here.  He pressed the door chime and sighed.  The door slid open, and the woman standing before him looked nothing like the vibrant young doctor, mother, and friend he was used to seeing.  Her hair hung limply, and her eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles under them.  Jean-Luc gathered her into his arms as she began to cry as soon as she saw him. 

“It’s not a dream, is it?”  She spoke softly, and Jean-Luc had to strain his ears to hear her.  He gently patted her back. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish it was. Stupid question, but how are you doing?” Beverly shrugged.  He walked her backwards into her quarters and gently sat her on the sofa and he knelt in front of her.  “Where’s Wesley?”

“With Patricia.” 

“Is he alright?”  Beverly shrugged. “I don’t think he really understands what is going on right now.  He’s only five.”  Jean-Luc nodded. Beverly reached out for his hands. “But you’re here now.” 

“I am.  I wish I could make it all go away and somehow bring Jack back.” 

“What happened?”  Jean-Luc reached forward and tucked a piece of hair behind Beverly’s ear. “Are you sure you want to know all the details?”

“No, but if you don’t tell me I’ll just look up the reports later.”  Jean-Luc chuckled. Still his tenacious Beverly.  “Alright.  It might take a while though. When is Wesley coming home?”

“Soon.  He knew you were coming and wouldn’t want to miss dinner with you.” 

“Of course not.  Can I stay in your guest room?”  Beverly nodded.  Jean-Luc rose and kissed the top of Beverly’s head. “Thanks.”

Beverly appeared in the doorway to her guest room where Jean-Luc  was unpacking his small bag into the dresser.  “Spaghetti alright for dinner? It’s Wesley’s current favourite.”  Jean-Luc turned and smiled at his friend. “Beverly, let me take care of you.  I’ll sort out dinner.  Go relax.  Have a bath if you want.  I’ll go pick up Wesley for you and bring him home, make him dinner, and get him in bed.” 

“Thanks.  Maybe I’ll take a shower....yeah, that sounds good.” Jean-Luc reached for Beverly’s hand and gave it a squeeze on his way past her.  “Take as long as you want. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Jean-Luc worried for his friend as he walked through the corridors of the base she was stationed on.  The loss of her husband, not to mention the fact that he was the father of her son as well, was going to be hard no matter how much he offered to help her.  And he didn’t know how long he would be able to stay.  The ship had gone ahead back to Earth to undergo repairs and he supposed he could stay with Beverly until the funeral and if his ship wasn’t ready, come back to the base with her, but then what? He would be back on his ship and she would be at the base and Jean-Luc wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be for him to continue to visit his best friend’s widow, even if he considered her to be his best friend as well.  He decided he didn’t care what anyone thought as he rang the chime outside the Quaice’s quarters.

Wesley ran to him as soon as the door opened. “Uncle Jean! I told Mommy you’d come and fix it!”  Jean-Luc sadly smiled at the five-year-old as he hoisted him in his arms.  “I wish I could, kiddo.  I wish I could.”  He pressed a kiss to the top of Wesley’s head and put him down.  Wesley frowned. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Wes.”

“Mommy said Daddy won’t ever come back, is that true?”  Jean-Luc shared a sad smile with Patricia Quaice. “I’m afraid so.” 

“Oh.  Well...will you be my daddy instead?” 

“Wesley...it doesn’t work like that.  Daddies and mommies are married.” 

“So...marry my mommy!”  Jean-Luc chuckled. “It’s not that easy.”  He knelt down to Wesley’s height. “But I tell you what. I’ll still be your Uncle Jean, and I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Alright?”  

“Ok.”  Patricia Quaice  beamed at Jean-Luc. “Looks like you have your hands full.  How’s Beverly?”

“I told her to relax and I’d get Wesley settled for the night. She seems....Honestly, Patricia, I’m not sure.  We didn’t talk much. Hopefully after Wesley goes to bed we can talk some more. Has she spoken with you?”  Patricia shook her head.

“No more than asking me if I could pick up Wesley from school and look after him for a few hours the past few days. Dalen said she’s come into sickbay a few times, but then would leave and return to her quarters shortly after.  I think she’s been trying to distract herself.  Any funeral arrangements?”  Jean-Luc shrugged. “I’ll help Beverly make them if she’d like.  Jack’s parents would like his body brought home for burial, but it will ultimately be up to Beverly.  I’ll let you and Dalen know.” 

“Thanks.”  Jean-Luc took Wesley’s school bag from him.  “Ok, kiddo. Say thank you to Mrs Quaice.”

“Thank you!!” 

“You’re welcome, Wesley.  Be good for your uncle.”

###

Beverly’s bedroom door was closed when Jean-Luc and Wesley arrived home and Jean-Luc replicated Wesley his dinner and supervised him while he ate.

“Mommy’s bedroom door is closed a lot.”  Jean-Luc raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yeah.  She picks me up from Mizzes Quaice an then I eat dinner an Mommy makes me take a bath an go to bed.  Then she closes her bedroom door. What’s she doing in there?”

 “Wesley...you know how you’re sad about your Daddy?”  Wesley nodded. “Your Mommy is sad because she lost her husband and she loved your father very much.” 

“Oh.  Will Mommy be ok?”  Jean-Luc smiled at his honorary nephew.  “In time, Wes.  In time.”

After getting Wesley into bed and closing the door to his room, Jean-Luc gently knocked on Beverly’s door.  “Bev? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” came the soft reply.  Jean-Luc slid the door open and discovered Beverly in her pyjamas in bed.  The lights were dim as if she had been sleeping, but Jean-Luc was sure she hadn’t.  The bed depressed with his weight as he sat on the edge.  “Wesley’s in bed.  He wanted hot dogs for dinner, I hope that was alright.” 

“It’s fine.  Thank you for looking after him. I...”  Jean-Luc reached out and gently cupped her face.

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. Not really.  Jean-Luc....I....I was pregnant.”  He reached for her hand to give it a squeeze. “Oh, Beverly! Jack didn’t tell me!” 

“Jack didn’t know. I found out two days ago and I was going to tell him when he was here on shore leave in two weeks. I...” tears pooled in her eyes and Jean-Luc did the only thing he could think of doing.  He toed off his shoes and laid down on the bed and pulled Beverly against him. “Shhh....Shhh...”  He gently stroked her hair and let her cry against his chest.

“I lost the baby yesterday.” she spoke flatly, as if reciting words off a page. Jean-Luc held her tighter.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.”  Beverly sniffled.  “We wanted two, do you remember?”  Jean-Luc grinned.  He remembered the two fighting playfully over the number of children they would have when they were dating.  After Wesley’s birth had been so hard on Beverly, Jack had confided in him he wasn’t sure if he wanted them to have a second, but Beverly must have changed his mind. 

“I wish I knew what to say...or do...are you...ok?” 

“No.  I mean, physically, I’ll be alright.  But....we wanted to give Wesley a sibling and now he won’t ever get to be a big brother....”  Jean-Luc turned his head and kissed her temple.  “Shh, don’t think about that. You never know what will happen.”  Beverly shook her head.

“I’m not going to have another baby. Not ever.” 

“You never know.  You might meet someone....”  Beverly snorted.  “Someone who wants to be saddled with another man’s kid?  No, I doubt it.”  She threaded her fingers with his. “Besides, I have _you_.”  Jean-Luc grinned and Beverly yawned.  She hadn’t slept in three days, not since the Yeomen came to bring her the news about her husband.  But somehow with Jean-Luc holding her she felt more relaxed.   

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. We have plenty of time to talk in the morning.  I’m here for as long as you want me to be.” Jean-Luc made the split-second decision.  If he needed to take some leave to stay with Beverly, he would.  She was going to need time to heal, and he planned on being there for her.   Beverly snuggled against his chest.

“Will you stay with me?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.” He chuckled. “Didn’t think so.  But will you at least let me put on my shorts?  I don’t fancy sleeping in my uniform.”  Beverly nodded and moved off of his chest.  “Give me ten minutes.”

Jean-Luc returned in his sleep shorts balancing two mugs. “I brought you some camomile tea. Thought it might help.” 

“Thanks.”  Beverly took the cup gratefully. 

“Have you been eating?”  Beverly shook her head. “Not really.”

 _“Beverly_.”

“I haven’t felt hungry.” Jean-Luc levelled a look at her. “ _Beverly.”_

“Alright, maybe some soup?”  Jean-Luc smiled and set his cup of tea down. “Better.” He left the bedroom and soon returned with a small tray containing two bowls of warm, thick, soup and a crusty baguette. 

“Nana’s soup?”  Jean-Luc nodded. “I remembered you programmed it in.”

“Thanks.”

###

Beverly had finally fallen into the slow, steady breathing that indicated she had fallen asleep and Jean-Luc laid still and watched her.  He had made her laugh earlier when he reminded her of the last time they had shared a bed -  it had been before Beverly and Jack were married and the three friends had gone to Jack’s parent’s cabin in the mountains of Vermont for shore leave.  Jack had woken up early to go skiing, and Beverly had been so cold when she woke up she got into bed next to Jean-Luc and snuggled up against him.  Jean-Luc had been surprised when he woke up to find Beverly snuggled against him, and Jack had laughed at the two of them when he came back in covered in snow.  Beverly had then sobered up when she realised Jack wouldn’t be there to tease them when they woke up in the morning, and a fresh batch of tears started.

Jean-Luc loved his best friend very much – too much, if you asked his other friend Walker Keel.  Jean-Luc knew if Walker saw Beverly using his chest as a pillow he would definitely have something to say to him, probably including the phrase “are you mad”, but Jean-Luc didn’t try to dislodge Beverly.  She was sleeping peacefully, probably for the first time in several days.

Beverly began to whimper in her sleep, but Jean-Luc gently stroked her hair and she seemed to calm down again, after tightening her grip around him.  He dropped a kiss on the top of her head before he finally was able to close his eyes. 

###

Beverly woke up and stretched. “Mm, that’s the best night of sleep I’ve had in....well, a long time.  Can you just stay here so I can sleep at night?”  Jean-Luc smiled at her. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

“You don’t mean that. You have a ship to run.” 

“I have a very capable first officer.  I _do_ mean it.  I’ll stay as long as you want me to, even if it means taking a sabbatical.”  He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she smiled at the gesture.  “I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.”  Beverly glanced at the clock.  “I need to get up and get Wesley to school.”

“He’s still going?”  Beverly nodded. “I thought keeping his routine would be good for him. I know we have a lot to discuss and sort out and this way we have time while he’s at school.  You know, they want to skip him ahead to the second grade?  I was just discussing it with Jack the other day, but we hadn’t yet made a decision....”  she trailed off and frowned. “I guess _I’m_ the one who has to make the decision now.” 

“I’m sure you’ll make the right one.”  Jean-Luc swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Why don’t you try to get more sleep and I’ll get Wesley up and take him to his classroom.”

“I doubt I’ll sleep, but thank you.”

“Can I get you anything before I get Wesley up?”  Beverly nodded, shyly.

“Can you get the hypospray from my bathroom? I need....well...”  she trailed off and Jean-Luc nodded.  He didn’t know _much_ about miscarriages, but he assumed Beverly must be in pain.  He retrieved the hypospray before retreating back to the guest room where his belongings were.  He would get dressed before waking up Wesley.

###

When Jean-Luc dropped Wesley off at his classroom, one of the aides asked him if Jean-Luc was his father. 

“No, my Daddy died,” Wesley said very matter-of-factly.  “This is my Uncle Jean.”  The aide looked up at Jean-Luc and noticed his rank pins. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, Captain.”  Jean-Luc nodded. “Thank you,” he turned to Wesley. “I’ll pick you up at 1500 when school gets out, alright?” 

“Kay.  Bye Uncle Jean!”  Wesley waved and went off to join some of his friends and the aide turned back to Jean-Luc. “When did his father die?”

“A few days ago.  Beverly and I don’t think he quite understands how serious it is, but if he has any problems today, please don’t hesitate to contact us.  Beverly felt that keeping his routine was important or she would have pulled him from school.  I daresay, we’ll be pulling him out for a few days eventually for the funeral.”  The aide nodded and Jean-Luc glanced over at Wesley once more before heading back to Beverly’s quarters. 

Beverly was still in bed and had managed to fall back asleep.  Jean-Luc smiled and started getting a breakfast tray together for his friend, putting all her favourite breakfast foods on it, including the weird and wonderful purple juice she liked from Dorianus.  He carried it into her bedroom and softly spoke her name. “Beverly?” 

Beverly woke up and smiled. “Wow, Breakfast in bed? A girl could get used to this.”  Jean-Luc blushed.  “I just wanted to do something nice for you...is it too much?”  Beverly shook her head. “No.  It’s made me feel special.  You’re the best.  Thank you.” She patted the bed next to him. “Are you going to join me?”

“Sure.”  Beverly sat up and Jean-Luc placed the tray across her lap before joining her on the bed.  She looked at the tray.

“Mm, all my favourite foods. You are too good to me, Jean-Luc.  Someday, you’re going to make someone a fantastic wife.  I hear Walker’s looking.”  Her eyes twinkled as she nudged Jean-Luc’s shoulder and he smiled, glad to see a bit of his old friend’s spark back.  He chuckled. “Too high maintenance. Besides, have you ever shared a bed with Walker? He hogs the sheets.”  Beverly nearly spit out her juice.

“Ok, I need to know. _Why_ were you sharing a bed with Walker and when?!”

“It’s an embarrassing story. For Walker, not me.”  Beverly grinned.  “I like this story already.”

“It was back when we were cadets.  Walker was dating someone, I can’t remember her name, but he had invited his girlfriend to join us when we went away for a weekend.  We got to the accommodation, which was an apartment with two bedrooms  - one had a single bed for my use, and the other had a double. I’m sure you can work out what happened.”

“The girl was mad Walker assumed she would sleep with him?”

“Bingo.  So she went into the room with the single bed and locked the door.  I wasn’t about to sleep on the sofa, and Walker said he wasn’t either, so we shared the bed.”  Beverly laughed.  “Did Jack know?”

“I doubt it.  It was before he joined the Academy.  Unless Walker told him, but I never did.”  Beverly shook her head. “No, if Jack had known, he would have told me and would have teased the two of you relentlessly.”

“True.”  Jean-Luc reached for a croissant and added butter to the pastry before taking a bite.  “Not bad for a replicator.” Beverly rolled her eyes.

“Snob.”

“When it comes to pastries, yes.  You’ve had my mother’s.”  Beverly smiled. “Mm,  I do love Madame Picard’s fresh pastries.”  Jean-Luc made another snap decision. 

“We can go to France if you’d like.  I bet Wesley would love it.  And Robert and his wife have a son around Wesley’s age...”  Beverly reached over for Jean-Luc’s hand. “That sounds nice.  Maybe after....after Jack’s funeral.”  Beverly’s voice caught and Jean-Luc gave her hand a squeeze. 

“So you’ve decided?”  Beverly nodded.

“Jack’s parents want him buried in the Crusher family plot in Connecticut.  I just don’t want to think about it that much.  I told Elaine to make the arrangements.” 

“We have my shuttle.  We can use it to get to Earth. It’ll take a few days.”  Beverly nodded again.  “Thanks.” 

“Of course.”  The two fell into a long silence while they finished eating their breakfast and then Beverly grinned. “Suppose I should get dressed and stop slobbing out in my nightclothes.”  Jean-Luc shrugged. “You can wear whatever you’d like.  If you want to stay in your pyjamas all day, I won’t judge.  You’ve been through a lot.”  Beverly sighed. 

“I don’t want to tell Elaine and Marcus about the baby.  I didn’t even tell Wesley he was going to be a big brother...I was worried he would slip up and tell Jack before I could and....”  tears filled Beverly’s eyes and Jean-Luc swiftly moved the tray to the floor before wrapping his arms around Beverly again.  “Shhh, Sweetheart.  Let it all out.” 

“I just...I wanted another baby so badly and Jack was worried after Wesley’s birth was so hard on me, but then I finally convinced him we should try....and it took months for it to happen and...and...”  Beverly sobbed into her best friend’s chest.  He didn’t know what to do and it pained him to see Beverly so upset, but what _could_ you do or say to a woman who not only lost her husband, but her baby too?  Jean-Luc continued to hold Beverly and rubbed her back until her sobs turned to hiccups. 

“Sorry,”  Beverly looked up at him and swiped at her eyes.  “I’m a mess.”  Jean-Luc pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Don’t be sorry.  I told you, I’m _here_ for you, Bev.  Whatever you need.” 

“Thanks. You’re the best. I love you.”  Beverly tilted her head and gave Jean-Luc a kiss on the cheek.  He grinned. “Love you, too.”

Beverly got up from the bed.  “Ok, I think I will get dressed. Can we get out of here?”

“Sure, what do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know. Just out of these quarters.”  Jean-Luc nodded.  “Why don’t we go on a walk and see if anything strikes your fancy?”

###

A few days later, they were headed to Earth in Jean-Luc’s shuttle with Wesley asking him multiple questions at a time about everything – from how to fly the ship, to what happens if he needs to pee?  That last one had Jean-Luc chuckling. 

“Wes, we have a toilet. It’s just like using the toilet at home.”

“Yeah, but where does it go?”

“Where does what go?”

“My pee.”  Jean-Luc shared a look with Beverly, who rolled her eyes.  “I don’t know, Wes. We’ll have to find a book.”

“Kay.”  Wesley settled down on one of the couches with his books and became quiet.  Beverly rested her hand on Jean-Luc’s shoulder. 

“How long will the trip take?”

“Four days. Think Wesley can handle it?”  Beverly raised her eyebrows. “The question is, can _you_ handle Wesley?”

“I think I’ll manage.”

###

Bedtime became an interesting situation.  There was only one bedroom, as such, on the shuttle and it only contained two bunks.  Naturally, Jean-Luc told Beverly he was willing to kip out on one of the couches, but she had told him they would make it work.  Which is how Jean-Luc found himself pressed against the bulkhead spooning Beverly while they slept. 

It wasn’t that much different from holding her in her bed each night, except that Beverly usually rested her head on his chest and her backside was never pressed into him quite so deliciously.  He groaned.  _Don’t think about her like that.  Don’t think about her like that. Don’t think about her like that_. Jean-Luc repeated the thought over and over until he fell asleep.  Unfortunately, his body betrayed him in the morning.

Beverly stirred and Jean-Luc groaned.  “Beverly, please don’t do that.”  A slow smile spread across Beverly’s lips.  She knew what she was feeling and she quite enjoyed knowing she had that power over her best friend.  She had loved her husband, she would never deny loving Jack, but somewhere along the way she began to feel something more than friendship for her best friend.  She never would have said anything to him or to Jack, but maybe she should now.  Was it too soon?  Jack wasn’t even in the ground yet.  And did she want to be with Jean-Luc now just because she was lonely or because she actually wanted to be with him? She rolled over to face him. 

“Why?”  Jean-Luc flushed and gave her a look.  She laughed and pressed her lips to his lightly in a friendly kiss.  “Good morning.  We’ll, ah, talk about this later.  Maybe when Wesley isn’t sleeping opposite us.” 

“Good thinking.  But, ah...would you mind?  I need to...”  Beverly’s eyes widened and Jean-Luc was quick to correct her thinking. “No! I didn’t mean that!  Oh God, Bev. No!  I just need to not be pressed against you so I can calm down.”  Beverly pressed another kiss to his lips before getting off the bunk.  “I’m going to go take a shower.”  Jean-Luc groaned again. 

“You deliberately said that, didn’t you?”

“Maaaaybe.”  She winked and swayed her hips on the way to the bathroom.  Jean-Luc rolled his eyes.  It was good to see Beverly in a playful mood, but what did any of it mean?

###

Jack’s parents were insisting that they stay with them.  They wanted to put Wesley and Jean-Luc together in Jack’s old bedroom and Beverly in their guest room, but Beverly really wanted to stay elsewhere.  Being in Jack’s childhood home and looking at all the pictures of Jack at every stage of his life only made her upset.  Jean-Luc thanked his old friend’s parents, but told them he had already arranged for an apartment nearby.  Naturally, Wesley wanted to say with him over his grandparents, so Beverly was fortunately spared. 

When they got into bed that night, Beverly was wearing a much shorter nightgown than she had on previous nights and she surprised Jean-Luc when she asked him to spoon her instead of her sleeping on his chest.  He wrapped his arm around her and fingered the silky nightgown.  “This is nice.” 

“Thanks.  It’s my favourite.  I know with my hair colour I shouldn’t wear pink, but...”

“It looks nice.”  Beverly rolled over to face Jean-Luc.  “I wasn’t sure if I had enough nerve to do this...or if it’s too soon or if I’m only doing this because Jack died two weeks ago, but...”  She trailed off and kissed him.  It was a deeper kiss than the kisses they had previously shared as friends and was most definitely the type of kiss you shared with your lover.  Jean-Luc kissed her back and ran his hands up her back.  Beverly broke off the kiss and smiled. 

“I can’t...I mean...I want to, but I’m still...oh, this is a gross topic and not romantic at all.”  Jean-Luc chuckled. 

“We can’t have sex because of the miscarriage, is that what you were going to say?”  He pecked her lips lightly. 

“Yeah. Sorry.”  Beverly looked away and Jean-Luc moved his hand to tilt her face back towards his and he kissed her again.  “Don’t be sorry.  How much time do you need?”

“Until it....uhm...” She flushed.  “Until I stop bleeding.  My body has to...” she trailed off, sure that this was a mood killing conversation. 

“Beverly, you’re a doctor.  Just tell me.”  She took a deep breath.

“Hokay.  So you know about menstrual cycles and things, right?”  Jean-Luc nodded. “As much as we learned in sex ed, but enough to understand what happens each month.”  Beverly nodded back.

“Right. So when you’re pregnant, obviously you don’t have a menstrual cycle anymore because you’re making a baby instead and even though I wasn’t that far along....it’s like having a really long, really ugly period.”  Jean-Luc nodded and pressed another kiss to her lips.

“I understand. So it’s not a set amount of time, it’s when your body is done?”

“Yeah,”  Beverly sniffed.  “It’s like a constant reminder that I lost the baby.” 

“I’m sorry.”  Tears threatened to fall and Beverly laughed bitterly. “You know, it’s funny.  Jack’s death caused me to miscarry from the shock, but if I still had the baby, Jack would still be alive and I wouldn’t be laying here with you and, well, I’m glad I’m here with you.”  Jean-Luc gently rubbed away Beverly’s tears and pulled her on top of him. 

“I’m glad you’re here with me, too.  Even though I don’t like that Jack is dead, either.”  Beverly frowned. “Jean-Luc, are we trying to be together just because Jack died?”

“No,” Jean-Luc shook his head.  “Beverly....I’ve been in love with you for so long now, but I never wanted to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”  Beverly leaned over and slowly kissed him once more. 

“Do you want to know a secret?”

“Hmm?”

“I started having feelings for you even while I was in love with Jack.  I still _do_ love Jack.  Is that...is that alright?” Jean-Luc shifted until he was sitting up with Beverly in his lap and he wrapped his arms around her back. 

“Of course it’s alright.  I don’t expect you to stop loving Jack just because you’re with me.”  He kissed her again.  “You _do_ want to be with me, right?”  She nodded.  “I do.  I don’t want this to just be sex...I mean, it _can’t_ just be sex at the moment, but you know what I mean.”  He chuckled.  “I do.” 

Beverly ran her fingers down his chest and he closed his eyes.  “You know,” she said with her eyes twinkling, “just because you can’t touch me, doesn’t mean that I can’t touch you.”  She reached into his lap and stroked him through his shorts and Jean-Luc kept his eyes closed. 

“Beverly,”  he rasped out, trying to maintain control, “I think we should wait for everything.” 

“Are you sure?”

“No, but...it’s only fair.”  Beverly nodded and withdrew her hand.  She leaned forward and kissed him again.  “Thank you for being so understanding.  And I’ll have to get my implant renewed first, too. Don’t want any babies yet. Maybe in a few years.”  She glanced up at the look of shock on Jean-Luc’s face.

“You’re not kidding, are you?”

“The look on your face!”  Beverly burst into laughter.  “I don’t know. We’ll see.”  She leaned forward and kissed him again.  “I love you.”  He chuckled against her lips.

 “I love you, too.”  He skimmed his hands down her sides and rested them on her hips. “I _do_ love this nightgown.” 

“Good.”  Beverly threaded her fingers in his. “What are we going to do at the funeral?” 

“What do you mean?”  He raised their fingers and kissed hers.  She smiled. 

“I don’t want to upset anyone.” 

“Honestly, Beverly, we’re so close that I don’t think anyone except for possibly Walker would notice a change in how we’re acting.  And Wesley will cling to me anyway.”  Beverly smiled. 

“He wants you to be his daddy.” Jean-Luc chuckled again.

“He told you that?”  Beverly nodded.  “When I was putting him to bed on the shuttle. Why, did he tell you?”  Jean-Luc nodded.

“The day I arrived.  He asked me if I would be his daddy, and I explained I couldn’t because mommies and daddies were married and then he suggested I should marry you.”  He grinned. “What do you think?” She snorted.

“Proposal by proxy? Hmmm,” she pretended to think it over and then she shoved him. “Ask me....in a year?”  Jean-Luc nodded and kissed her fingers again.

“Before we have a baby?”  She nodded and grinned. 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Mm, good.”   She sighed.  “We should get some sleep.  It’s a long day tomorrow.”  Jean-Luc kissed her once more.

“Goodnight, my love.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my 200th fic for TNG!


End file.
